Onward Forward

Sometimes moving forward from something seemingly comfortable or enticingly beneficial takes pure guts no glory. My good friend Nilo is presently going forth with this process. My support is with her and this new progression forward. In life we find that we select a virtuous path that open itself up for success. For some people these paths become absolute avenues for success, but for others….they might need to redirect themselves. It takes a lot of confidence and wit to acknowledge a path that you were set out on to achieve a mark of greatness isn’t working to something that may be completely new or something with an outlook questionable. For the people i’ve encountered we want things to be equal and we want everyone to achieve what they feel that they desire,  but somehow in the real world this is not a realistic happening in life. Things are not fair, we are not all equal and aside from a very small number of people, the majority of us have to work for what we want to have success with. I firmly think what makes a good person is based on their ability to acknowledge actions and reactions in life and move forward accordingly with and open mind, heart, and the perseverance to become a better person mentally or physically. In these photos I really wanted to represent Nilo in a different way than I’ve photographed her before, I wanted these photos to reflect on her own improvement and maturity not only as a model but as a person….surprisingly this was our first time working together on film and I was amazed at the results. 

Model: Nilo

Camera(s): Canon Eos3, Mamiya 645

Film: ilford hp5 400, Kodak Portra 800

which one? ilford hp5 400 or ilford delta 400

I’ve felt inspired mostly at late, but my inspiration commands me to make changes or attempt to make changes in the mediums that i use to exhaust my inspirations. This round it was to test a different black and white film against my trusted black and white film. Actually i think if this was a supreme photo nerd comparison it would immediately be off because my variables in which i tested the film we entirely different. I shot ilford hp5 400 at 35mm on a Canon EOS3 with my pal Houston down the street from his abode in the middle of an summer Phoenix day when the light was at its absolute worst and the temperature was at its most high. I shot both films at box speed but overexposed slightly when shooting 1/4 a stop. I have always enjoyed how much detail i get out of ilford hp5 whenever i overexpose and usually i am pushing the film when I shoot to maximize that and to get a certain grain that i enjoy with black and white film. Anyhow, hp5 worked as great as it always does and have no complaints about it….(no surprise) Now on to ilford delta 400……… I shot this roll in studio at Blok with Lara. Same settings as before in the amount of overexposure. I knew delta was much flatter overall than hp5 so i decided to mostly expose for the shadows to see just how much detail the film would retain in the highlights. To say the least, I was completely unsatisfied from this point. Highlights seem to be blown out on some photos which just was never a problem with hp5. However, i do enjoy the middle ground of grey that the film expresses because I enjoy that flat look on about half of the photos i take that are black and white. I think with delta 400 you must be precise when shooting it, and maintain shooting it at box speed. This isn’t the only roll of delta 400 that i have shot, and i have noticed similar things which each roll that have become annoying. I think for now I will stick with hp5 and leave those delta 400 rolls at the store…..forever. 

Camera: Canon EOS 3

Film: ilford HP5 400/Delta 400

Model 1: Houston 

Model 2: Lara

monochrome method #1

Sometimes our lives catch us off guard in ways we could never imagine….I’m tempted to feel and profess that the majority of my life has tripped me up consistently, actually that influence of being caught off guard might be the only consistent thing in my life before i found photography. I’ve seemingly battled addiction along with the mental battles of unlikeliness amongst my life. I’ve probably been in every freak scenario that you can imagine. I’d like to think if i could ever find a person to tell my life story that it would be depicted as a academy award winning movie. Unfortunately very few people know my full story, but many know bits and pieces. I’ve made myself out to be a man of mystery for a very long time, but that doesn’t seem to do me any good. I’ve strangled the idea of being open to everyone and fully loving the life that i ironically still have given my history. I don’t strive to be rich, successful, or famous….that is probably opposing to most people in this life. I strive to live and be happy, it’s that simple. Maybe my story will come out when i find the right person to communicate with and i myself finds the right time to open my heart considerably. At the moment my heart is open to accept others pain and in return give love, comfort, ears, and a decent responding voice from my own trials and tribulations of life(goodandbad) I just simply want to hold you down…..not just only you, but everyone with intention of being great or doing good with a decent heart. Now i would be lying if i said that i want everyone to be successful and achieve their dreams and goals…..because i just do not. I don’t believe in everyone and i can not. I feel like anyone who says that is doing a disservice to themselves and the rest of the humans living and breathing amongst us. Maybe in Utopia we could do it all, but Earth is no such thing………you can fill the rest in.

The photos below were conceived by the inspiration of Emily Soto I had recently got back into film photography if you haven’t been following and sold my digital camera and all the lenses, and hopefully a year from now I can call myself a film photographer…period! Anyhow Emily has always made iconic timeless portraits on film and I wanted to try it out with someone who I think is timeless and quite the angel. Preetpal was that person…I’ve been wanting to photograph and meet her for quite some time. Her energy is soft and her mind is intentional, and I think that reflects in these photos. I had a horrible time trying to develop my 120 film this time because I couldn’t get the film in the reel….sad i know. The trials of developing your own film. I had only developed on other roll of 120 film before so it’s just a learning process that i will overcome. I ended up just shoving the film in the tank without the reel and agitated the film consistently in every stage……i had no clue if it would work or how the film would come out, but i love the results. I couldn’t be more happy with these and how they resemble real feelings and eternity. I hope you enjoy these as much as i do. 

Peace, Love, Waves. 

Camera(s): Mamiya 645, Canon A1

Film: Ilford Hp5 400 overexposed +.5

Model: Preetpal Gill

Using Format